Saturday, May 31, 2014

Marketing Sucker

I was speaking with Raven (my Guru), about commercialism and marketing. It's odd that certain products, like hair-removal devices, are generally marketed toward women, but will offer a second version, usually in black or grey packaging, for men. It's the same product, does marketing like that really matter? Then Raven (my Guru) pointed out that I am no better. She claimed I'll buy just about anything if it is colored black, and had flames or skulls on it. Even something pointless I don't need, like a rubber duck. She when on, and said more words, or something, I'm not really sure what she was talking about or where she was going with any of it, but a black rubber duck with flames and skulls on it... that would be cool. I'd totally buy that.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Too Many Choices

Kids today, with their "I'm male or female, or transsexual, or pansexual, asexual, etc." Too many choices. When I was that age, we knew there are only two choices: Suicide or Homicide. Everything else was bullshit.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

And the Dwarf Kept Tumbling Down...


I'm standing in the middle of a road, not a car in site.

My Wife tells me to get out of the road, or I could get hit by a car.

What car? There are no cars on this road. I turn toward one of the directions, gesturing "come and get me," daring any car to flatten me.

I feel something brush against the back of my legs. Turning quickly, there is a small, yellow, square shaped van. It's electric (no wonder I didn't hear it coming!) and it's small. Very small. Like two feet high and two feet wide. I think the driver is pissed at me, for almost causing an accident. The van stops, backs up quickly, slamming into the guard-rail. It pulls forward, then makes a u-turn and starts backing up again, very quickly. I suspect someone small wants to give me a big piece of their mind.

So angry they are, they don't notice a break in the guard-rail, and the mini-mini van tumbles down the side of a rocky cliff.

"Crap!" I say, this person could be hurt.

I begin a careful ascent down the cliff. The van, fortunately, stopped part-way down. I'm trying to get to it, when the door opens, and little man gets out. He's bald, and looks hurt.

"Hang on!" I tell him, I'm coming, I'll pull him up.

He stumbles, loses his balance, and falls further down the cliff, into a small chasm in the rocks. I'm climbing into the chasm, I can see him, he looks slightly more injured. I get closer to him, he loses his grip, falling further.

I go down even more cautiously. He loses his footing, and falls again. This time he hits the bottom, hard. That looks like it hurt! He appears to still be alive. I don't dare try to move him, in case he has a spinal injury or broken neck. No point in climbing all the way down there.

"I'll get help!" I yell to him. Climbing back up, I'll call 911 as soon as I get to the surface. I'm hoping he won't be still angry with me. It's not my fault he went off the cliff. and I climbed down trying to help in, even if I did laugh every time he fell further down, because it really looked quite comical.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Mind Over Matter of Degrees

I finally have my Collage Degree.

The powers that be have granted me a B.S. in Theoretical Philosophy, in recognition of extensive work in the field. I hope to earn my Masters before too long.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Does this look funny to you?

Just noticed the other day that I have a little spot on my lip. I figure it's either absolutely nothing, or lip cancer. If it is lip cancer, I'd probably need to get my lips removed. If I get my lips removed, I'd need to get some of those tooth-whitening strips, or else it might look funny.