Salem Report: 2009

"I love Salem in October, it's like Days of the Dead meets Mardi-Gras."

Morticia and I did our yearly jaunt to Salem MA yesterday, it was great to see Matt and Mara (proprietors of www.FoolsMansion.com) as well as artist Nick Demakes and his cephalopod (lol!)girlfriend Christina. Fun group, I wish we lived closer.

In addition dropping off a bunch of prints and artwork to The Fool's Mansion, we also picked up a brand new vender in Salem, "Life & Death, Oddities and Curios Shop" www.lifeanddeathinsalem.com they sell Absinthe supplies, Post Mortem items (funerary, not US) and "Dreadful rarities". A shop not to be missed in you are cruising around Salem looking for a memorable experience!

A Mesage From Universal Management

Due to unforseen circumstances beyond our control,

tomorrow has been cancelled.

In an attempt to compensate, today has been moved

to "Never Ending" status.

We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause.

A Funny Thing...

A little something I wrote years ago, still true to this day...

A Funny Thing

I often tell stories which I think are funny.
That's why I tell them, I think they are funny.

A funny thing is,
The people I often tell these stories to don't think they are funny, and therefore don't understand just why I told it to them in the first place.

And the fact that I often tell stories which I think are funny,
to people who don't think they are funny,
I think is hysterical!
---MwG

The Art Festival is over...

The WCSH-6 Portland Sidewalk Art fesstival (annum#44) is over. The whole thing went pretty well, and I learned a few things:

1. If a guy is looking at a print like he may consider buying it, don't talk to his girlfriend.

2. When someone asks about the price for an original piece, start high.

3. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Bring tape. If I had to borrow someone else's tape one more time, I risked punching my own self in the face.

But all in all, it was a good show. People seemed to really like the new "Dead Man's Chest" piece that I recently completed, and "Nacht der Geist" as well as "No Hear Say or See" & Cutey-Die are still popular. I love that.

Disposable World

So many of the things that we see and use every day are made not be disposed of. Things aren't made to last as they once were, it's all fodder for the ever-growing Waste Stream Monster.

This is a fact, I know it, you know it. Which raises the question: Why do I save so much crap?!? I am a sucker for saving, glueing, taping and trying to get every last once of life out of everything I use. I had this epiphony which stacking paperwork: I have boxes of paperclips right next to me, yet found myself twisting and trying to bend out another use from a paperclip that had clearly been used several times before. WHY DO I DO THIS? For the Environment? Because I'm a cheap bastard?? Is it OCD?!?

I don't know, but I am going to make an effort to treat more disposable things as the garbage they were meant to be. I'm starting with a BRAND-NEW PAPERCLIP!!!

"It's a Morbid Life" pt. 1

It dawned on me recently that so many strange things take place in my life, that I hardly notice them anymore. I don't even realize how strange they are until I tell them to people and they give me "That look," that always inspires me to question if I should be telling this stuff to anyone.

Therefore I'll chronicle them here....

The Selling of the Pants:

Winter, 2004, the middle of a snowstorm.

Some dear friends (who know I'm a little "off") gave me a gift of a pair of or pants. They were "lounging pants," (which I suspect is a scam to sell the pants from a pair of pajamas). They were dark blue, with glow-in-the-dark panets and moons on them. Pretty snazzy, and I'm sure never intended for wear outside the house. So I was wearing them in the middle of a snowstorm to go and pick up pizza.

As I croosed the parking lot to go into Lumpy's Pizza in North Berwick (no longer there, but you ever get a time machine, I strongly suggest giving them a try). As I entered the fine eating establishment, an older gentlemen (who I'd never seen before) commented that he liked my pants. I thanked him and went to continue my transaction. Then he asks: "How much?"

I told him I did not know, they were a gift. He said, "No, how much do you want for them?" and took out a roll of bills...

I saw the cash and said "$50". He handed me a $50 bill, and I took the pants off and handed them to him. Right there inside Lumpy's Pizza.

It was a cold ride home, I'm glad my coat was fairly long.

Art Festival August 22

I will be taking part in the 44th Annual WCSH 6 Sidewalk Art Festival to be August 22, 2009 (raindate August 23). Approximately 300 artists and 40,000 visitors attend this festival. The WCSH 6 Sidewalk Art Festival is the oldest and largest one-day art show in Northern New England.

For more info: http://www.wcsh6.com/life/community/events/art_festival/story.aspx?storyid=100584&catid=126

Remembering Michael Jackson

Since it's been everywhere, I want to take this opportunity to reflect on my favorite Michael Jackson Moment....

Is Everything Art?

I recently was visiting a site about a Con for writers, and was struck by the site, several times, referring to it's writers as "artists".

Now, I have the utmost respect for writers. I LOVE writers, books have inspired our world arguably more than any other medium. BUT, do they have to be artists, too? Can't they be... I don't know... WRITERS?!?

What does that make now, let me see... Musicians, are "artists." Performers, (acrobats, comedians, people who get up and entertain in a way other than music) are "artists." Actors are "artists," and now writers.

Oh yeah, let me not forget those of us who make ART. What's the deal? Can I call my Artwork "Visual Music"? Can I be "A Musician of an Artist"? Can we please stop the madness???

What happened to Musicians being "musicians"? Writers being "writers", etc.? Is being an "artist" so flattering that everyone wants to be called an artist, even if they don't make art?

When EVERYONE is an "Artist" and EVERYTHING becomes "Art," ART will truly be dead.

Zombie Kick-Ball is on!

Zombie Kickball is on!



WHAT: Zombie Kickball IV!!!

WHEN: June 28th, 2009, 2:00pm

WHERE: Carter Field, Eastern Promenade, Portland, Maine

COST: Free! Bring a non-perishable food donation for the Good Shepherd Food Bank to the game if you would like to keep humans alive.

FMI: http://strangemaine.blogspot.com/2009/06/zombie-kickball-is-on.html#links

AFTERPARTY: Masses of the walking dead will be contained at the Space Gallery at 4:30pm! Covered in Bees, Lost Cause Desperados, and Ghosthunter will play to throngs of zombies. This is an all-ages after-party. Club opens up around 4, show gets going about 4:30pm. Cover is $5.

RAINDATE: We've been asked several times if there is a scheduled rain date for our event. There is no alternate day for our game. But there is rain predicted for this weekend - with scattered thunderstorms likely on Sunday. Please plan ahead and dress accordingly on game day. Clearly, we will all have to modify our costumes a little bit. And we may even have to modify our game. So let's keep our fingers crossed for a break in the weather! The Good Shepherd Food Bank will be collecting cash and non-perisables, regardless of the weather, at both the game on the Eastern Prom and the show at Space.

A little Socialism is Bad... why?

I hate to get Political (alright, I LOVE to get Political, but I try to fight the urge since people get all weird about it).

Right Wing Mouthpieces are jumping all over President Obama for "taking over the car companies" and for regulating the pay rates of executives at the Banks receiving Govt. bail-out funds (a.k.a. OUR Tax dollars). It's being decried as a "Socialist take over".

I have a few questions about that: When Co.A goes to Financial Institution B for a high risk loan in order to save it's own ass, is it not customary to present a Business Plan detailing how the $$$ will be spent, in order to show that it's a decent risk? When Co.A fails to present a Plan, while also asking for an IMMENSE amount of money, isn't it also common sense for Financial Institution B to take control of said Co. and essentially OWN IT? It's our Tax Dollars that were asked for, therefore OUR Gov. gets that control. It makes sense to me...

And what is Obama doing with that control? Forcing the American Auto Industry to produce a quality car, that gets good gas mileage, at a competitive price. **OOOoooooh! I shudder at the thought...**

For the Banks receiving OUR Tax Dollars, he's reforming the Executive pay rates, so the Executive fat-cats don't receive ridiculous amounts of money (OUR $$$) while failing at the job of controlling the Nation's Economy. **Say it ain't so Joe!!!**

Pardon me while I roll my eyes and flip these Right-Wing Mouth-pieces the bird. If this is Socialism, then it's bad.... why?

Who Named this anyway?

All of the other Planets in our Solar System have cool names. Mars, (my favorite) Venus, Jupiter, Uranus (my other favorite, for very different reasons), all named after Greek and or roman Gods. Powerful names, names with meaning. Names with Personality... yet ours is named, Earth. As in "shovel-full". They (the other Planets) are mostly lifeless balls of dirt, and ours, where all of the LIFE is at, is named: Big Ball of Dirt.

Where did this name come from? WHO got to name our home planet? Couldn't the name be changed by simple consensus? If we ALL decided to call it something else, that would pretty much do it, right?

In Portugese and Italian, the word is Terra. Which is noticably feminine. French it's La Terre, which is Terre with a feminine spin. Mother-Earth and all that, we pretty much agree the earth is female, don't we?

How about a Feminine Spin on the word "Earth" and call it Eartha?

WHO'S WITH ME?!?!!

Estate of Panic

I sometimes wonder if the Television Gustapo has a line feeding straight into my brain, selectively cancelling every television show I LIKE.

Just like they did with Moonlight and Brimstone, it's looking like Estate of Panic, after one season, is done.


I understand EoP isn't officially cancelled, they just aren't making new episodes? They tease as well as taunt me...

The Inspirational Mr. Crowley

Aleistair Crowley that is. If you haven't heard of him... where the hell have you been?? I'll do a great dis-service to those who actually don't know of him, and not explain who he was or what he did, O.K.?

I got my first Crowley book (Magick in Theory and Practice) in 1986. Since then, I've acquired most of the books he's written, as far as I know. Acquired that is, not actually read. (Ozzy my friend, I want to know what he meant too, I just haven't quite firgured it out yet.) It isn't that I haven't tried, and it's not that I've tried and failed either. He has a truly devilish sense of humor I love, and conceptually I think I have him down pretty well. I'm with him on Theory, it's the Practice which eludes me.

Here's why: His writings never fail to make me think. It's mental exercise, rather than exhausting, it's exhilerating. He gives me sense of how much I don't know, not about his stuff, but in the general sense.

I started reading 777 last weekend, and here's what I came away with: I newfound desire to learn the Alphabet. Why did it take Crowley to make me see this?

I.... don't.... know.

Digital Art

I'm not even going to get into my thoughts on digital artists. I know of, and personally, some amazing artists who work primarily in the digital medium. I also know of, and personally, some people who have no talent or ability whatsoever, and make pictures using computers to make up for what they never bothered to develope themselves, and fancy themselves "artists." None of that has anything to do with this post.

Here's my biggest issue with creating art digitally: There's no resulting "work of art". Think about (for a cheap and easy example) the Mona Lisa. The Mona Lisa is one of the most recognizable, most commonly used images in the mind of humanity. It's been emulated, imitated, duplicated, copied.... I'm sure even copulated, but there's only ONE. One original painting. That's it. It's that rarety which makes it one of the most valuable works of art in the Louvre. That will not happen with a digital image.

A digital image, by it's very nature, requires a computer to view, or a print to be made. Even a fine art print, on canvas and the whole nine yards, is still a copy. More copies can be made, indistinguishable from the rest.

Call me.... *insert appropriate word here* .... but I have a passion for the concept of the one-of-a-kind-original. A painting, oils acrylics or whatever, is that.

The Origin of Ideas...

It's the woe of many an artist. The inevitable question: "Where do you get all of your ideas?"

I've decided to post my own:

"Top 10 Responses"

10. HUH?!?

9. That is an excellent question... EXCELLENT! How long have you been doing interviews?

8. They are beamed directly to me from the Mothership.

7. I often wonder that myself.

6. I don't care where they are from... MAKE THEM STOP!!!!

5. You believe I have ideas... really? REALLY?!? I think I love you...

4. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you... do you really want to know? *look hopeful*

3. Is there a specific idea you'd like to know about?

2. I find them while searching around in my pants.

1. Who's to say where Creativity originates? I believe it was Aristotle who said... no, I think it was Buddha, no wait a minute... Niztche'? Why Niztche'? No, he didn't say anything about that... at least I don't think he did... he might have... I get so confused sometimes...

No Necon for me this year...

Since making the decision not to attend this year, I have been dreaming about it on a regular basis. No Convention has infected me like Necon has.

Postmortem Productions pays for itself. 2008 was NOT a good year for us business-wise, Partly due to the economic woes felt by everyone, partly due to the time constraints of my FTJ. Regardless of the "why's," usually I count myself lucky to break even financially at Necon. When I come close to taking in what it cost me to be there, I'm ecstatic. Last year wasn't it, and other venues didn't make up any of the difference either. This isn't "financial woes," we're still solid, but there isn't the money in the Postmortem Budget to cover good times for their own sake this year.

One good aspect of this is next year, Dark Lords willing, I'll be there, ....with a ton of new stuff.

Raining Daddy Long-Legs

A true story from a Con I attended in 2007:

The room was stuffy. Theoretically, it must have had some type of air-flow system thus making it habitable to us air-breathing types, but this system was not in operation at this time. I decided to open a window.

The windows, however, were held shut by what looked like "jumper screens." I'm sure they weren't, I haven't heard of this place being known for it's suicide rate, but then again, maybe that just meant the screens work. Having worked in a hospital, I've actually installed such screens, and with the right tools, I know how to remaove them as well. These screens have very wide frames. (This peice of information will become shortly relevant, trust me.) Fortunately for me, I always carry a small tool kit. If I want to kill myself, damnit, no silly screen is going to stop me! However, such drastic measures were not called for, I just wanted some air...

I dismantled the holding mechanism keeping the screen in place, and then removed it. Success! I also saw that the entire bottom sill was PACKED with Daddy Long-Legs Spiders*. Scenes from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre do this description justice. They were all alive, and they all started moving...

This was my room for the weekend, these critters had to go! Now that the window was accessible, I opened it quickly, and one after the other grabbed each DLL by the leg and threw them out the woindow. Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! ...and on until every single one of those horrid little M&Ms walking of hair-thin legs learned what gravity will do to their bodies when tossed from a 4th floor window...

After it was done, I was amused by the thought that there could well have been someone on the ground, under that window, being rained on by Daddy Long-Legs Spiders*.


*For the record, my wife has pointed out that what is typically recognized as a "Daddy Long-Legs Spider" is in fact not a true spider at all. True spiders have two body segments, these vermin have only one.

Strange Maine

There's a reason why people such as Rick Hautala, Glenn Chadbourne and Steven King are all from Maine... Maine is a strange place.

There's even a convenient place where maine's Stangeness is Chronicled The Strange Maine Gazette, and the Strange Maine Blog.
Freaks. Weirdos. Unmapped roads. Whispering rocks. Deadening fog. Ghost pirates. Lonely islands. THINGS in the WOODS. A place where the 4 seasons really know how to live. Maine: the way life should be! This site is a nexus for conversation about Maine's unique strangeness, people who love it, people who have experienced it, & people who are intrigued by it. History, mysteries, legends, current events, cryptozoology, & more.

The Strange Maine Blog is chock-full of Interesting and Bizzarre tales, updated several times DAILY. You'll never be bored reading this...

And for fellow suckers for the Printed Page, there's the Strange Maine Gazette, the latest issue has Maine Bigfoot sightings!
Where you can find copies of the SMG:
Arabica Coffee, Portland
Portland Public Library
Strange Maine, Portland
Maine Historical Library, Portland
Little Dog Coffee, Brunswick
Treasure Chest, Waterville
Cafe Bon Bon, Lewiston
Mr. Paperback, Ellsworth
Mr. Paperback, Dover-Foxcroft
Mr. Paperback, Caribou
OR get a subscription! 4 issues a year for $5... (5$!!!! what a deal!!)
Please mail payment to Michelle Souliere, P.O. Box 8203, Portland ME 04104

Ray Lewis Staying a Raven

With a great sigh of relief, I'm happy to know that Ray Lewis WILL be staying with the Baltimore Ravens. (for more on that, read here) I've been a big fan of the Ravens, and specifically a big fan of Lewis, for 13 years now. (The Wife's an Ed Reed fan, I certainly can't knock her for that.) If Lewis' recent free-agent status had resulted in him on the field playing against the Ravens, the resulting confusion would undoubtedly have caused my head to explode...

Sex, Blood & Virgins

It was pointed out in the movie Scream (for anyone who hadn't been paying attention) in most horror movies, SEX=DEATH. If you have sex, appearantly you're a sinner, and deserve to die... This point was presented in another film Behind the Mask where the wannabe legendary serial killer Leslie Vernon painstakingly selected his "survivor girl," for whom virginity was a must.

Why is this? I understand the whole preachy "you sin, you die" crap, but seriously, if she's been gracious enough to expose herself repeatedly on the big screen, shouldn't that count for something? Don't we really want the Whore to live?? I know I do...